Nana always knows. Before somebody knocks the door, she runs towards the door if it’s someone she likes. She runs towards me if she doesn’t. Today, however she fixated her head towards the door like she was waiting for someone to knock.
My black Persian cat Nana purrs coarsely in her sleep and loves tuna out of the can but it’s always dry fish that she is crazy for. Today she has refused to eat anything. She likes peeking in when I am going through my reading, she disturbs me knowingly but never have I seen Nana so disturbed as today.
The knocking happened around 2 pm afternoon, the curtains hid the man but the silhouette seemed familiar.
Gaius Jacob had vowed to convert me when he first arrived into our neighborhood. He is the youngest priest in the parish and is an object of many ridicules for his enthusiasm partly because he is too young to discuss religion out loud in public. The Catholics call him priest charming because he is good looking young man in an obscure god forsaken town. No wonder the church is full these days because of him.
He is almost sensible if religion is knocked off his head, he always twists every sentence to theology. There is something in him that makes people believe in God that he do fondly preach. He is always kind, but most importantly overlooking the fact that he is too good to be true, he has his innocence intact, unmarred by the corrupt world. His childlike deduction and belief that everyone is good, will surely kill him oneday.
Can I call a Catholic priest stoic conservative without making it an oxymoron?
I always liked pulling his leg
“God is merciful” he says when I ask him, about Judas Iscariot.
This Gaius Jacob was not himself at my front porch, he asked my permission to enter. Nana bit my leg playfully, her sharp canine drew lines on my dry skin. Gaius waited patiently. Nana ran away frantically.
There was blood at the edge of his cassock. The indigo dipped cassock was ironed as always. He never entered my house, and had once called me a sorceress, I never mind I’ve been called Jezebel and worse.
There was something odd about him. He was asking permission to enter. I couldn’t say no.
I asked if he’d like a cup of tea, which he declined. I never felt so ashamed of my mess of a room. Nana had massacred my notebook on the floor, shredded the poor little bamboo pages for fun.
The beads and the cards were spread on the table.
“Ah, do you see anything?” He asked trying a smile to relax.
I had to ask, ” Gaius, Are you all right?”
He bit his fist, sat on the cane chair dramatically and started sobbing. I wanted to put my arm around him and console. I watched him break down instead. It was bitter to see him that way. My eyes swell up too. I stood there quiet. I saw Nana by the door watching us. She refused to enter.
“I have doubts” he said wiping his tears.
‘I think it’s good to have doubts. It makes you humble” I said.
“Faith do not thrive where there is doubt.” he looked at the floor.
The scratch that Nana’s teeth had marked made my skin embossed, it burned.
” I think they go hand in hand. Like light and darkness. You don’t need light if there is no darkness to drive out. So you need faith to drive out doubt. But tell me why a Catholic priest is asking about Faith in Sorceress’ Den?”
Gaius narrated his story about his morning. He woke up from a dream. He doesn’t remember what it was but his body was sapped. He couldn’t pray or eat. He tried reading his Bible, but his mind was disturbed.
“The only thing that keeps a man happy and content is his act of service”
So he went doing his usual chores, visiting houses and praying until he got news about first cousin being possessed.
She was taken to the hospital where they labelled her with schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder. In his defence, Gaius said he was already sapped because of the dream be cannot make himself remember till then.
So he went to visit his cousin sister with holy water, herb and wax. He regrets he should have asked other priests. His emotions got hold of him.
She was lying on the floor with a bloodied mouth. He could barely utter word when the spirit spoke to him.
“What did it say?”
He just looked at me. I saw his eyes were sad but never have I ever seen such beautiful eyes.
“Never mind. I shouldn’t have bothered coming here. But I felt sorry for you. I don’t know why. I wanted to meet you.”
“Sorry for me? But why Gaius?”
Nana started hissing and growling from the door. The evening was getting dark.
“Your cat doesn’t like”
“Cats barely like people.”
He smiled at this. He gave a nervous bow and excused to leave. It was all funny to me. The first time a priest was inside my house and the longest conversation we ever had.
“Don’t you want to convert me?” I teased as he was leaving.
“No I think everyone should have this freedom to choose”
” So where do you think, Judas is?”
“Maybe Nowhere,” he smiled at his own answer, ” and to be nowhere is a good place to be”
Next morning, as I was going through the local news channel on Telly, I heard about an exorcism gone wrong. A young priest died at the local hospital while performing an exorcism on a young girl. They said the girl’s back to normal but the news reader didn’t mention the name of the Priest.
I watched Nana in horror, she stretched herself and ran towards me. She sat on my lap and looked at the door intently.
- Kate Sarah
Sanskari 